


didn't know i'd love you so much

by la_victorienne



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-09
Updated: 2009-01-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 00:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10560640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_victorienne/pseuds/la_victorienne
Summary: six months later, ianto is watching winter fall.





	

"The white of the dusting of snow  
lingers in the shadows, on the fallen leaves,  
the cooler spots in the yard,  
in the lee of the shrubs, the crooks of the branches  
in subtle and still ways, remaining  
a little longer, cooling the world,  
providing fringe and accent  
before the sameness of winter  
when shades of gray in the snow  
will mark its edges, dimensions  
now it remains trim around the edges  
in little and small places, in the calm  
away from sun and activity  
hiding a while before fading  
slowly, slowly, away  
before the winter coming"

\-- Raymond A. Foss  
Winter Coming 

Ianto sits alone six months to the day after Toshiko died, a glass of excellent scotch in his hand, his head tilted back on the sofa cushions and his eyes closed.

Winter is drifting over the trees outside of his apartment, the few and the beautiful, snow and grey, and it only makes him miss her more. Toshiko used to love walking in the snow, the cold bringing warmth and color to her cheeks, her hands in her pockets and the entire world bundled in with tea and hot chocolate. He remembers walking with her from the Torchwood office to her favorite coffee shop, which made coffee worse than his that he tolerated because he loved her.

And he did, and does, love her, from the bottom of his heart to the very ends of the earth. She had a brilliance he could hardly fathom, a low shine that no-one but he and Jack ever saw. And god, does he miss her.

He misses the way a single cup of his coffee could bring a smile to her face, the way her body straightened out and her darling heart shone through her skin. He misses being the one to dance with her when they all went out to the local, the one to make her feel like she’s making Owen jealous. He misses her laughter and her tears, her endless technical blather and her engaging passion.

When Jack walks in Ianto is wiping away the tears that won’t stop coming, the tears that haven’t truly stopped since that awful day so many months ago, and Jack knows without asking what Ianto has been doing for the past few days.

He sits down on the sofa beside Ianto and takes a sip of the scotch in Ianto’s glass, savoring the fine flavor. He clears his throat in the silence, and half-smiles.

“You know, when I met her, she was in a UNIT holding cells, those bastards. I can’t speak ill of them now that Martha’s so settled there, but at the time, Tosh was their prisoner. I had heard about her before that, though – did you know she was arrested for building her own sonic screwdriver? Or – something just like it, I don’t remember. I just knew she was brilliant.” Ianto sniffles, and draws a shaking breath, and laughs.

“She never would talk about it, mostly because she didn’t want to brag. I remember finding her file and laughing until I cried.” Jack nods and rests a heavy hand on Ianto’s knee.

“Let’s go in,” he says, and Ianto knows what he means, and nods.

“Let’s remember her well,” he says, and Jack leans in.

“Always.”


End file.
